Update

So today is the day before Thanksgiving its about 9pm here in good old Indiana. I am supposed to be resting according to doctors orders but since when do i ever listen to anyone. A lot has happened this week and I have yet to take the time to deal with any of it. Tomorrow its just mom, me and Kris sitting around house watching tv maybe Kris and I will play monolopy or something together as a family. We are just having ham because Kris says we are not allowed to eat Turkey since we ate his best friend last year (he rode home with the turkey in the backseat last year and it became his best friend kids will be kids) This week i learned that no matter if you do everything right God has his own plan and things happen for a reason. I spent most of my day Tuesday at the ER here in Frankfort and had to have a D&C (i think thats what it is called) as of about 5am yesterday morning I lost the baby. I dont know why or how. I swear i did everything right. I didnt smoke, drink or lift heavy objects I took it easy got lots of rest took my prenatals and everything. I swear if one more person hugs me and tells me it will be ok i'm going to explode. I've held it all together I have yet to break down and cry over all this because I have to be the strong one. Kris took it really hard he was so excited about having a brother or sister. I'm just scared what this mean. Am I ever going to be able to have any more kids??? I mean I dont want to do it all alone but I dont want to be 30 before I have another one. This year is almost over maybe next year will be better or at least I can hope right. Well i guess those who thought i was the black sheep of the family and a total fuck up is correct because i cant even carry a baby full term without loseing it so i hope you are all happy. With that said have a happy thanksgiving.

Update

Ok i don't get on here much to write well the internet was down for about a week between the interent company having issues and the computer wanting to be a pain in the ass. Anyways not a lot going on here these days. I got laid off on friday i knew it was coming so it was no big deal now i get to spend more time with kris and stuff. Need to go through all those damn toys and get rid of some before Christmas. I think he is mainly getting board games and games for the DS and Wii. Still waiting on medicaid to send me my paperwork so i can make my first doc. appt. Tonight on CMT they had the movie Beer for my horses It comes out on DVD On Tues. It is an awesome movie i recommend it. Not many movies here lately have kept my interest but i sat and watched all of it tonight. Kris brought home 11 3's on his report card and 10 2's the 3's stand for meeting standards and the 2's means close to meeting standards compared to last year he's doing really good. He's all excited about the baby and is always wanting to rub the belly cuz he thinks the baby can feel him right now you know how kids are. well need to get off to bed so i can get up with him and get him off to school night everyone