Update

Ok i don't get on here much to write well the internet was down for about a week between the interent company having issues and the computer wanting to be a pain in the ass. Anyways not a lot going on here these days. I got laid off on friday i knew it was coming so it was no big deal now i get to spend more time with kris and stuff. Need to go through all those damn toys and get rid of some before Christmas. I think he is mainly getting board games and games for the DS and Wii. Still waiting on medicaid to send me my paperwork so i can make my first doc. appt. Tonight on CMT they had the movie Beer for my horses It comes out on DVD On Tues. It is an awesome movie i recommend it. Not many movies here lately have kept my interest but i sat and watched all of it tonight. Kris brought home 11 3's on his report card and 10 2's the 3's stand for meeting standards and the 2's means close to meeting standards compared to last year he's doing really good. He's all excited about the baby and is always wanting to rub the belly cuz he thinks the baby can feel him right now you know how kids are. well need to get off to bed so i can get up with him and get him off to school night everyone

Urrg Men

I'M SO FED UP WITH THE MALE POPULATION. HOW THE HELL CAN YOU SIT THERE AND SAY IT CAN'T BE YOURS WHEN YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE I'VE BEEN WITH. OK YES YOU MIGHT HAVE PULLED OUT BUT HELLO ITS CALLED PRE-CUM YOU FUCKING RETARD. I SWEAR TO GOD HOW FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD CAN A GUY REALLY BE. I GUESS HE'LL FIND OUT IN 9 MONTHS THAT I'M NOT FUCKING PLAYING GAMES. I WENT ON TUESDAY TO THE DOC. TO GET A TEST TO PROVE TO MEDICAID THAT I WAS PREGO. THEY WERE ABLE TO DO A HORMONE TEST AND I'M ABOUT 2 WEEKS WHICH HELLO YOU RETARD THAT WOULD HAVE TO MAKE IT YOURS DUMBASS. SORRY NOT TRYING TO GO ON AND ON BUT HE REALLY PISSED ME OFF TODAY AND I CAN'T SAY THIS TO HIS FACE CUZ HE DONT WANT THE DRAMA AT WORK WHICH IS FINE I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT BC I DONT WANT THE DAMN DRAMA AT WORK EITHER. URRRGGGG HE WONT TALK TO ME BUT HE HAS NO PROB. TALKING TO MY FRIENDS ABOUT SHIT AND WANTING TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON BUT YET HE CAN'T PICK UP THE PHONE AND ASK ME THE ONE WHO REALLY IS CARRING THE BABY URGGG. SO I TOLD THEM NOT TO TELL HIM A DAMN THING AND THAT IF HE WANTS TO KNOW THEN HE NEEDS TO JUST CALL ME AND DEAL WITH ME OR HE CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF AND BE LEFT IN THE DARK. SORRY IF THAT MAKES ME A BITCH THEN SO BE IT.

How do I tel you

SO I HAVE FOUND SOMETHING OUT IN THE LAST 24 HOURS AND I'M NOT SURE HOW TO TELL ANYONE. CHESTER AND I DID BREAK UP ON THURSDAY NOTHIN MAJOR I GUESS HE SAID I WAS BEIN TOO BITCHY THIS PAST WEEKEND AND WELL KIND OF FOUND OUT WHY JUST NOW SURE HOW TO HANDLE IT. I REALIZED AROUND WED. SOMETHING WASN'T RIGHT I THOUGHT MAYBE IT WAS JUST PMS AND THAT'S WHY I HAD BEEN ACTING LIKE A BITCH WELL IT SOUNDED ABOUT RIGHT. CUZ IT SHOULD HAVE STARTED THURSDAY. HOWEVER IT DIDN'T I TOOK A TEST AND REALLY DON'T LIKE THE RESULTS. HE INSISTES IT CAN'T BE HIS AND WANTS TO WAIT AND SEE BUT WHATEVER TYPICAL GUY RIGHT. YES I UNDERSTAND WHERE HE IS COMING FROM CUZ I WAS SORT OF SEEIN SOMEONE ABOUT A WEEK BEFORE HIM BUT IT DIDN'T WORK OUT BECAUSE OF MANY REASONS AND WE BOTH SAID IT WOULD BE BETTER TO BE FRIENDS SO WHO KNOWS. ACCORDING TO SOME RESEARCH THAT I HAVE DONE MY BEST OVULATION TIME WOULD HAVE BEEN 9/12-9/17 WHICH WOULD PUT THE OVULATION DAY AT 9/15 WHICH IS THE DAY THINGS STARTED WITH CHESTER SO I DONT KNOW. I HAVE AN APPT ON TUESDAY AT 6PM AT A FREE PLACE HERE IN TOWN SO I DONT KNOW. I CAN'T TELL MY MOM YET NOT TILL I KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON. I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE I REALLY DON'T THINK I WANT TO. GOD I HAVE TO BE THE STUPIDEST PERSON IN THE WORLD TO ALWAYS FALL FOR THE FUCKIN LINES GUYS GIVE AND SHIT. MY BEST FRIEND IS THE ONE I TOLD FIRST AND THE ONLY THING SHE SAYS IS IT WILL BE OK ITS LIKE NO ONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT IT IS LIKE I DONT WANT TO GO THROUGH RAISING ANOTHER ONE ALONE. WHO IS GOING TO EVER WANT SOMEONE WITH TWO KIDS FROM DIFFERENT GUYS. MY FINGERS ARE CROSSED THAT THE TEST LIED BUT I HAVE A FEELING THATS NOT GOING TO BE THE CASE. CHESTER INSISTS IT CAN'T BE HIS BECAUSE WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TILL THE 15TH OF SEPT. AND ALL WEEK LONG LAST WEEK EVERY DAY AT LEAST ONCE A DAY BUT HE SAYS THERE IS NO WAY THE TEST WOULD COME BACK POSITIVE YET. I JUST WONDER WHAT HE WOULD DO IF IT TURNS OUT TO BE HIS. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW POSSIBLE IT WOULD BE FOR IT TO BE HIS RIGHT NOW. THE ONLY THING I WANT TO DO IS CRY AND I CAN'T DO THAT CUZ I CAN'T LET ANYONE KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON I HAVE TO CARRY ON LIKE THERE IS NOTHING WRONG LIKE EVERYTHING IS FINE AND THAT I'M JUST PMSING UNTIL I KNOW FOR SURE. I AM SORRY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY SORRY

Update of a long week

So yea where to begin???? Well for starters I started seeing this wonderful amazing guy. His name is Chester. He's been real good with Kris all week which is helping so much. Kris got in a lot of trouble at school Monday cuz his meds didnt work or somethin. But now he only goes half day for who knows who. He also told them he was itchy cuz we have bugs in the house which we do not so therefore CPS got called and I've been stressed all week. Even though i'm sure there are days that i've been a real bitch he has put up with me no matter my moods surprise surprise right. We had a meeting at school today to talk about what to do and right now they are going to keep him at half day and slowly work on getting him to go all day. Other than that right now I think thats about it oh yea by the way CPS said they found nothing wrong with the place. As of right now I think that's about it. Well i'm off of here to go spend the rest of the evening with my boyfriend and his daughter and my son its so nice.

For you Ralph

There isn't a guy involved right now Chris is JUST A FRIEND who owns the bike that's it nothing more. There is however a guy that I am interested in at work and come to find out he likes me but who knows if that will go anywhere I have very bad luck with guys. As far as getting on the bike I'm sorry Stuart but I will probably do it at least one more time this year you gotta understand its a thrill for me its like getting high for those who do drugs not me because well i am the good child :P Anyways i'm kind of seeing this guy from work Friday night him and a friend and her bf is coming over (she's my friend not his lol) so we are going to have a couples date in i'm making dinner and she says she's going to help so it should be fun i hope. Right now i'm just taking it all one day at a time and not rushing into anything. I'll keep you posted on what goes on. have a good week

Already Sept. What happened

Ok so today is the 8th day of Sept. Where did Aug go????? There's not a lot going on around here at the moment. Kris has gone back to school and so far so good. He had a prob. the first day of school he didnt want to ride the bus home but other than that everything is going good now. He has a paraperfessional (sorry about spelling) that helps him during class plus he is on Vyvanse for ADHD. They have him on a pill at night to help him sleep however IT DOESN'T WORK!!!!! He goes back next week to see the doc for his prescription so hopefully we can get something new to help him sleep. I work my usual 42 hours a week lots of fun NOT. Today was kind of a slow day i was on a slow line it was a nice minivacation from where I am normally at but i'm ready to go back to the faster lines. At this time I'm not seeing anyone I know thats a surprise right NOT. In the last week I have gotten to ride a motorcycle twice. IT WAS AWESOME I can't wait to ride again when the wheather is nice again it is supposed to rain all week plus Chris (my guy friend) works 2nd shift at SIA So the only time i get to do that is on the weekends. He is supposed to come down in a few weeks to give my truck a tune up however which will be nice cuz it needs one badly. Other than that nothing amazing is going on in my life. I'm just taking things one day at a time hopeing for the best but in the end isn't that all we can really do. Kris doesn't go back to see his Therapist till the 8th of Oct. now so that's like a month away kind of nice see how he does with that. Dan (his therapist) would like the school to test him to see how smart he really is but who knows if they will. Well I'll try to write more when i have time and when i have more to update everyone with. Hopefully after his B-day there will be new pics i can put some on here and there will be lots on my myspace page.

Hump Day:)

Ok so this is mainly for my brother since he is complaining about me not posting much on here lol... The main reason I haven't is because there really isn't much to talk about right now. I haven't rented any movies lately and nothing major is going on in my life go figure right. Still living the single life raising a hyper 6 year old little boy and working. I did however find out a good guy friend of mine is leaving in Oct for 18 months for school down in FL. I"m happy for him but at the same time sad. You really have to know and understand the whole thing to fully understand why i really dont want him to go. We have been on and off for 3 years most of which has just been GREAT AMAZING s--. I know you dont want to hear about it so i wont tell you lol.... That's just it we are just friends with benefits which has worked out great this year in the long run cuz i really haven't had time for a full relationship but i spend a lot of Sat. nights with him. Here lately its been Every Sat night for about a month. Last weekend we just sat around his house watching a movie. Its nice to have someone who understands you and doesn't want you to be something your not. But it hurts to wake up next to that person Sunday morning and know that you aren't supposed to love him even though both of you know you do. Things with him is so ful of passion but he keeps insisting its just what it is there is no feelings there and stuff but i'm sorry the way he acts and stuff speaks differently than his words. Maybe this isn't making sense to anyone but i dont care. When I am with him i'm not afraid to be myself. I like falling asleep next to him usually i get up before him so i slip out while he's asleep which he likes but one day maybe i'll surpise him. I know when he leaves that will be the end of whatever you want to call this. Maybe its just us being young and dumb hell i dont know. I just know i'm going to miss him but just like everyone else that has walked out of my life i'll get over it and move on. The best part about him is we have an understand that he wont meet my son. Yes I talk about the little one and he listens and gives advice just like any friend but as far as letting him get to know my son there is no way in hell. Sat. nights are mine when they happen and my mom watches Kris. I just dont want Kris to get attached to someone who is going to turn around and leave right away. Ok well I guess I better stop going on and on about it and get ready to leave so I can go to work YUCK! We've been packing cherrys this week but the last 3 weeks has been mints. I'm kind of glad to be packing something different. I'll write more after registration next week unless something major comes up.