Hump Day:)

Ok so this is mainly for my brother since he is complaining about me not posting much on here lol... The main reason I haven't is because there really isn't much to talk about right now. I haven't rented any movies lately and nothing major is going on in my life go figure right. Still living the single life raising a hyper 6 year old little boy and working. I did however find out a good guy friend of mine is leaving in Oct for 18 months for school down in FL. I"m happy for him but at the same time sad. You really have to know and understand the whole thing to fully understand why i really dont want him to go. We have been on and off for 3 years most of which has just been GREAT AMAZING s--. I know you dont want to hear about it so i wont tell you lol.... That's just it we are just friends with benefits which has worked out great this year in the long run cuz i really haven't had time for a full relationship but i spend a lot of Sat. nights with him. Here lately its been Every Sat night for about a month. Last weekend we just sat around his house watching a movie. Its nice to have someone who understands you and doesn't want you to be something your not. But it hurts to wake up next to that person Sunday morning and know that you aren't supposed to love him even though both of you know you do. Things with him is so ful of passion but he keeps insisting its just what it is there is no feelings there and stuff but i'm sorry the way he acts and stuff speaks differently than his words. Maybe this isn't making sense to anyone but i dont care. When I am with him i'm not afraid to be myself. I like falling asleep next to him usually i get up before him so i slip out while he's asleep which he likes but one day maybe i'll surpise him. I know when he leaves that will be the end of whatever you want to call this. Maybe its just us being young and dumb hell i dont know. I just know i'm going to miss him but just like everyone else that has walked out of my life i'll get over it and move on. The best part about him is we have an understand that he wont meet my son. Yes I talk about the little one and he listens and gives advice just like any friend but as far as letting him get to know my son there is no way in hell. Sat. nights are mine when they happen and my mom watches Kris. I just dont want Kris to get attached to someone who is going to turn around and leave right away. Ok well I guess I better stop going on and on about it and get ready to leave so I can go to work YUCK! We've been packing cherrys this week but the last 3 weeks has been mints. I'm kind of glad to be packing something different. I'll write more after registration next week unless something major comes up.

It's the weekend

Ok so its been a little while since i've been on here to leave a blog. Things are going pretty well. I am enjoying my job for the most part it has its moments just like any other. Right now I am looking for another job but not in the state of Indiana. My mom had a biopsy (sorry if misspelled) lately on her breasts cuz they saw a few spots that looked abnormal. Good news is that its not cancer its just a blockage of a duct or somethin like that like i really pay attention as long as its not cancer. Kris is doing good on his meds it has made a really big difference which is really good. other than that everything else is the same as always. I go to work and come home nothing new in my life. Just going through things here at home and getting rid of stuff trying to figure out what i can sell and what i cant and stuff. I figure either come Dec. or June we'll be out of here depends on how things go on the job hunt and at my current job cuz i know lay off is around Oct or Nov or maybe get lucky and last till Dec. I'll keep everyone posted

Happy 4th of July

Ok so today is a holiday big deal. Did some fireworks with the kid other than that did nothing. I had the day off from work which was really nice. However I should have gotten housework and stuff done and well I didnt. My mom is wanting to have a yard sale soon and get rid of the stuff we aren't using or wanting which makes sense to me but that would require me going through stuff. There's always tomorrow. Kris is doing good since they put him on his medicine. WOW its a BIG difference. hell now i can out eat him where before it was the other way around lol. My mom goes in on monday to have a biopsey (sorry if misspelled) on her breast they found some spots that could or could not be cancer. I'm hoping for no cancer she's already gave me one scare this year already i dont need another one. Other than that just a lot on my mind. She's into this whole kick of either being closer to my family or finding someone and setteling down that way if and when something happens to her i wont be alone which is in some ways makes sense but lets face it no guy wants me i'm never good enough for anyone and well most of my family doesn't speak to me anymore so what the hell does it matter. well i'm going to go so i can go watch a movie and go to bed yes early on July 4th and no alochol gee we have a prob.

Not monday again

Ok so yes its monday however its almost over think god. I quit my job recently at the milkyway i got tired of working nights all the freakin time and weekend i never got to do anything with my son or my friends which really sucked ok i'm cool with not hanging out with my friends because i dont have many these days anyways but i missed spending time with my son. I went back to Zachary's since they called back it is so worth it major holidays off till lay off time and weekends off yea i like that idea. The doc put my son on vyvanse this past week for ADHD so far its ok i guess. Right now i'm just trying to make it through one day at a time with him and with my mom and life in general. Have you ever had one of those days that you just stop and ask what did you do wrong and when did you do it??? yea I thought about that last night after I put the kid to bed and curled up to watch some tv before bed where did i go wrong and how the hell did i fuck up so many relationships was it me or was it them. I guess this whole going to bed alone every night is starting to get to me plus everyone around me seems to think i need to settle down screw that I'm only 25 I am waiting for Mr. RIght (even though he got hit my a semi and died somewhere along the way of finding me) but in the mean time i'm a having a little fun with some of the wrong ones. I have a friend with benefits well sort of. Its complicated to explain. There are no strings attached and we aren't supposed to get emotionally attached HELL I"M A GRIL of course i got attached i've known him since freshman year in high school and i liked him back then but shit happens. I just enjoy the time we do spend together and just brush it all off cuz if its meant to be it will happen and there is no need to push the issue. I did tell him however that one day he's going to wake up and find me gone and i wont be there when he wishes i was and that it will be his own fault cuz he pushed me away. Ok well i think i've ranted enough for tonight so i'll end this i need to get dinner made anyways give the kid a bath then hopefully off to bed then tv time for me then off to bed before it gets to late.

ME AGAIN

so it is me again. i don't really have too much to say this time. April is almost over which is good i guess. it seems like this whole year is going by so fast. I am still working at the milkyway for now i have been however submiting my resume in a few places. i am going on Tues (my only day off) to manpower to apply they have a factory job for the air filter place in town (donaldson) for $9 an hour hey that's better than what i make plus if i get on full-time i can get benefits EVEN BETTER. however this past monday was a nice monday my check was good (however mostly gone now oopps damn bills) i finally got my raise so i was happy i went from 6.55 to 7 an hour which is good for the most part still really isn't enough when you are raising a child and want to be able to put money in a savings account to buy a house and get your teeth fixed and shit oh well at least it pays the bills right now. Its been so nice out lately i've been walking to work and home from work on days i work during the day so that has saved a little money since gas is almost $4 a gallon SCREW THAT SHIT. The only thing i have planned right now for may is my son's kindergarten field trip on the 13th to the indy zoo i already asked for the day off so i can't wait. well i better run and head off to bed so i can get up for work i think that's all i do anymore oh well

Almost weekend

OK I THOUGHT I HAD POSTED ONE A FEW DAYS AGO BUT MAYBE I DIDNT WHO KNOWS THINGS GET CRAZY. MY SON SAW THE THERAPIST AGAIN THIS WEEK AND THIS TIME WE SET UP AN APPOINTMENT TO SEE THE DR THAT CAN GIVE OUT MEDS AT THE CLINIC AND WELL THE CRAPPY PART IS I HAVE TO WAIT TILL JUNE 19TH TO SEE HIM SO WE ARE JUST TAKING IT WEEK TO WEEK NOW AND DAY TO DAY NOW. SHE REALLY THINKS HE HAS ADHD. AS LONG AS IT WILL HELP HIM FOCUS I'M ALL FOR IT THAT WAY HE CAN STAY IN SCHOOL AND MOVE ON BECAUSE THE WAY HE IS RIGHT NOW IF HE ACTS THIS WAY IN 1ST GRADE HE MIGHT GET KICKED OUT AND HAVE TO REPEAT IT AND IF I CAN KEEP FROM HIM GOING THROUGH THAT THEN I WILL... HE IS SO SMART JUST HAS WAY TOO MUCH ENERGY. ANYWAYS SO FAR GRILL HAS BEEN OK. I HAD TODAY OFF AND NOW WORK UNTIL WED WHICH IS FINE WITH ME I GET ABOUT ONE DAY A WEEK OFF RIGHT NOW WHICH BELIEVE ME I WILL TAKE ALL THE HOUSE I CAN GET JUST SO I CAN START PUTTING MONEY BACK INTO MY SAVING ACCOUNT BECAUSE I KINDA TOOK SOME OUT THIS WEEK AND SPENT IT ON SOEMTHING FOR KRIS AND I WE GOT A WII ITS GREAT HE LOVES IT AND WE PLAY IT TOGETHER WHEN I GET HOME FROM WORK AND SINCE I HAD TODAY OFF HE GOT TO PLAY IT A LONG TIME HE BEATS MY ASS ON THE BOWLING GAME HE IS REALLY GOOD AT IT THE GREAT PART IS THAT THE WII CAN PLAY GAMECUBE GAMES SO WE RENTED SOME OF THEM FROM THE MOVIE STORE AND HE CAN PLAY THEM WITH A NORMAL GAMECUBE ROMOTE WHILE I'M AT WORK WHICH WILL WORK GOOD FOR WEEKENDS SO MOM DOES'NT HAVE TO FIND SOMETHING TO KEEP HIM BUSY AND SHE CAN REST A LITTLE SINCE SHE WORKS LIKE 20 OR MORE HOURS FROM FRIDAY NIGHT TILL SAT. AFTERNOON. WELL I NEED TO GET GOING SO I CAN GET TO BED I HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK TOMORROW I'M IN THE GRILL TILL MONDAY I THINK CAN'T REALLY REMEMBER MY SCHEDUAL OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD OH WELL LOL

Where is this year going??/

MAYBE ITS JUST ME BUT THIS YEAR SEEMS TO BE GOING FAST WHICH IS KIND OF NICE I GUESS. WORK IS WORK NOTHING NEW THERE OTHER THAN THE FACT ON SUNDAY I START TRAINING IN THE GRILL AS A COOK I'M A LITTLE NERVOUSE THE ONLY REASON I'M TRAINING IN THE GRILL IS BECAUSE BOB HAS BEEN TALKING ABOUT MAKING ME A SHIFT SUPERVISOR WHICH WOULD BE COOL!!!! BUT YOU CAN ONLY BE THAT IF YOU ARE THE COOK FOR THE NIGHT SO I HAVE TO TRAIN FOR THAT WHICH SHOULDN'T BE TOO HARD I JUST DONT LIKE MESSING THINGS UP LIKE THAT. KRIS STARTED SEEING A THERAPIST THIS PAST WED. WE DONT KNOW A WHOLE LOT FROM THAT APPOINTMENT BECAUSE IT WAS JUST TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT IS GOING ON AND STUFF SHE SAW HOW WELL HE SAT STILL (HOW WELL HE CAN'T SIT STILL THAT IS LOL) SO HE GOES BACK NEXT WEEK. SHE WANTS TO TRY SOME DIFFERENT THINGS BEFORE PUTTING HIM ON MEDS WHICH IS NICE. FOR THE MOST PART EVERYTHING IS GOING GOOD I GUESS. STILL SINGLE BUT WHAT ELSE IS NEW I REALLY THINK MY MR. RIGHT GOT HIT BY A SEMI-TRUCK LOL.... WELL I NEED TO GET LUNCH STARTED AND ALL THAT FUN PARENT STUFF. HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GOOD WEEKEND I KNOW I WILL WORK TONIGHT AND TOMORROW NIGHT THEN GOING OUT TOMORROW AFTER WORK THEN WORK SUNDAY NIGHT FUN FUN MY NEXT DAY OFF ISN'T UNTIL NEXT THURS. WHICH WORKS FOR ME