Monday, June 23, 2008

Not monday again

Ok so yes its monday however its almost over think god. I quit my job recently at the milkyway i got tired of working nights all the freakin time and weekend i never got to do anything with my son or my friends which really sucked ok i'm cool with not hanging out with my friends because i dont have many these days anyways but i missed spending time with my son. I went back to Zachary's since they called back it is so worth it major holidays off till lay off time and weekends off yea i like that idea. The doc put my son on vyvanse this past week for ADHD so far its ok i guess. Right now i'm just trying to make it through one day at a time with him and with my mom and life in general. Have you ever had one of those days that you just stop and ask what did you do wrong and when did you do it??? yea I thought about that last night after I put the kid to bed and curled up to watch some tv before bed where did i go wrong and how the hell did i fuck up so many relationships was it me or was it them. I guess this whole going to bed alone every night is starting to get to me plus everyone around me seems to think i need to settle down screw that I'm only 25 I am waiting for Mr. RIght (even though he got hit my a semi and died somewhere along the way of finding me) but in the mean time i'm a having a little fun with some of the wrong ones. I have a friend with benefits well sort of. Its complicated to explain. There are no strings attached and we aren't supposed to get emotionally attached HELL I"M A GRIL of course i got attached i've known him since freshman year in high school and i liked him back then but shit happens. I just enjoy the time we do spend together and just brush it all off cuz if its meant to be it will happen and there is no need to push the issue. I did tell him however that one day he's going to wake up and find me gone and i wont be there when he wishes i was and that it will be his own fault cuz he pushed me away. Ok well i think i've ranted enough for tonight so i'll end this i need to get dinner made anyways give the kid a bath then hopefully off to bed then tv time for me then off to bed before it gets to late.