LONG TIME

Wow it has been a very long time since I have wrote anything on here. I really couldn't tell you why. Maybe its just life? Who knows. This year seems to have been a very long year. Back in Jan the guy I had been seeing left I was devasted but thinking about it now maybe it was a good thing. Then at the end of April beginning of May Kris was diagnosed with PDD-NOS which is on the Autism Spectrum. However prior to the evaluation me and his therapist went around and around. I was told there was no way that he was on the spectrum that he was just being defient and that I NEED to get married and have another kid or two so Kris isn't the only child well sorry but I don't think so. Yes I have two AMAZING brothers and one sister but I did grow up as an only child due to them only being half and living many states away since our dad passed away in 85. But I was nothing like Kris is its more than defient yet every child is defient from time to time its normal but this goes beyond. He has melt downs in crowded areas. He can only be in his regular classroom for a short period of time before he gets over stimulated and has to go back to the resource room. It gets very very furstrating from time to time and having a therapist who wants to say I am in the wrong because I am an unmarried parent is bull crap! It's not that I haven't tried to find a decent guy in this messed up world. I'm to the point where I truely believe my "prince charming" got hit by a semi truck plain and simple! This last year at school for Kris was one of his best it was only 3rd grade but he made so many big achievements all thanks to his wonderful resource teacher. She is a wonderful lady. She has a therapy dog in her class her name is Daisy and Kris loves her to pieces!! I am very thankful for her. Anytime I have questions I can text her or call her. She keeps a journal that gets sent home every night from school that says what went on and weather he had a good day or not. She has even made time over the summer to meet up with him so he could see Daisy. I can honestly say she's gone way above and beyond than any other teacher I have known. She truly loves the kids in her class and most of them are like Kris maybe not the same diagnoses but still the same concept it works great for him. This year he will be in her class again (untill he finishes 5th grade) but he will also have another teacher in the 4th grade hallway but will only be with her for a couple hours in the morning in hopes later to have him in there more. One day at a time with him and one step at a time. I do have to admit some days I do want to break down because its a lot harder than I thought it ever would be. There are so many days that are a nightmare mainly because he wont go outside cause of the bugs or he wont eat something because of the texture. Buying clothes for him is a nightmare all do to the sensory disorder. I have been told many many times its not my fault that he is this way but sometimes I wonder. Did I go wrong somewhere? What did I do that could have caused all this?? I don't know maybe its just one of my bad days I give up. Well I'll try to write more another time.